That's basicly my feeling right now. I'm battling depression and feeling pretty unsexy at the moment. The past 3 weeks have been weird. I got some sort of bug on the 6th. By 5pm that thursday I was feverish, feeling chilled to the bone, and puking up everything my stomach was given. Water wouldn't even stay down. By Saturday the intestinal disfunction kicked in. I woke up and got some water because by then the fever left me desperately thirsty. After about 20 minutes I realized I better make it to the bathroom before I lost it. So then began the shit storm from hell. Of course my stomach was still woozy... the fact that I had the shits made me puke... Its NOT fun to be crapping out your entire lower intestine, and puking into the bathroom trash can all at the same time. I don't recomend this to anyone. Not even as a punishment to your worst enemy.

But all that passed.  Thank fucking god. After I got well its been nothing but work work work. Oh and being flaked on. At least I think Harrison has flaked on me. Before he'd actually call me back, but since I told him that i'm interested in him on Monday, not a single call. Left 2 messages, but no response. I'm not naive. I've been blown off. Hence the depression.

Its not like I was asking for a relationship, I just wanted to know if he was at all interested.  Yeah I'm a fat ass, and I'm not that cute, I know this. I just think I deserve to be told the truth, rather than be spared hurt feelings. I get MORE hurt and angry if someone flat out lies to me.

I just don't understand guys. I mean most guys won't talk on the phone with anyone for hours unless they were interested... so if he's not at all interested, why go thru all that effort with me? I mean its not like he was getting sex.

My thoughts at this moment are just "What the fuck?"

"u want to get laid? name the time and place, I'm there, and you won't even have to pay"

I know this guy is probably serious in his offer of sex in h is comment to my last post. But I have news for ya buddy. I'm neither desperate, or easy, and your offer only makes me laugh. This is me laughing... Muahaha.... MUAHAHAHAHAHA! 

There is only one person I have the desire to copulate with, and you're not him. My suggestion to you is to get a book on pickup lines or something and do some research. Your first approach needs some work... cuz damn.

In other news I spent yesterday feeling totally puketastic. I'm thinking the culprit was the Whopper no onion or tomato heavy pickle that I had the night before. It h ad way too much mayo on it. I blame Harrison for talking about "special sauce" in his gay man lisp while I was ordering for us. His comments probably offended someone listening to the orders so they added a bit of extra "love" to my Whopper.  :shock:  There is nothing like waking up in the moring and vomiting your brains out until your stomach has emptied everything that could have possibly been in it for the last century. And of course when you tell your job you think you have food poisoning they really never believe you.

Ug...

Seriously it must have fallen out when I woke up at 3:30am. The offical Asscrack before dawn wake up time. Then I call to see what my exact sign in time is, and find out its 5:fuckin'30. So here I am running on 4 hours sleep cuz I stayed up too late talking to Harrison, because I couldn't sleep... when I could have been sleeping in an extra 30 minutes. Even that small amount of time can make a huge difference when you get up at the time I usually do during the week.

I really hope I get a bus with a radio today. That and my only other wish is to get laid... oh and a pair of new jeans. But those will have to wait till friday when payday rolls around. The jeans that is... not the getting laid part. I'm not gonna pay for sex you pervs.

:shock:

Happy fuckin' new year.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way... I'm bored. Bored beyond belief or imagination. I can't find my damn pebbleboard so I can't work on an oil pastel drawing that's been lurking in my brain for a week, nor can I find the silver back scratchboard I know I bought. I mean if I missplaced that shit I'm gonna be ANGRY!!!!... Its expensive as hell.

I'm horny and masturbation just isn't cutting it anymore. Now you know you're pathetic when you've reached that point. A nympho who has standards and won't fuck anything that says "yes". The skanky bitches have it so easy. They don't care who they fuck or who's heart they break.

So yeah my new year sorta sucked anal drippage. The hostess of the Darklady parties (The Dark One herself) had an ovarian cyst burst on nye afternoon so was at hospital all day. She made it to the party at like 10 or something and was obviously wore out. Everyone had a great time so I guess the party was the shit. Not that I noticed. I was busy being bored and semi-miserable. I watched an elfin like drunk chick with a huge-o-mungous strapon run around making exagerated groin action at the crowd and yelling "oh yeah!" and "Who wants my cock" or something to that extent. And then my friend V was showing everyone exactly what a hot lesbian action scene is with two other chicks on the casting couch. She really should record and market that shit... oh yeah and hire me as her personal manager hehe... But yeah... no hot action for the spunky one. I got to grope Grimster's butt and look up his utili-kilt cuz he's cool as hell... but that was about it really. After the bell tolled and all the happy couples kissed in the new year... I fucking left. Its definetly not fun being single at the zero hour of the new year.

And its really sad when the only thing I really have to look forward to today is spending my $50 Costco gift card my employer gave me. Oh yeah... its so much fun to wade thru the herd of cattle lined up for the free food samples... MOO!